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Sermon for 01/21/06
(First time visitors: Please read the notes HERE about these sermons first!)

Jesus: GREATEST GIFT OR GREATEST SECRET?

– The Oikos Factor –

Grace to you and peace from God our Father, and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, AMEN

Main Theme: Either we see Jesus as the Greatest Gift the world has ever been given, or we act as if He is the Greatest Secret. There is no doubt in scripture as to which attitude is correct. Sharing our faith is the greatest desire of God! We are to be fishers of people! Today, in this 5th part of our sermon series, we personalize the early church’s concept of “Oikos” – that is, our households; the people in our sphere of influence (Which includes relatives, friends, and associates.) We will 1) define and identify our “extended family” 2) Develop a profile of each member, 3) Focus you efforts, 4) Develop a disciple-making plan, 5) Work the disciple making plan, (listen, relate, identify receptive periods, use appropriate timing, use understandable language), 6) Pray regularly for each member, and 7) Accept accountability to others and God. (Mostly taken from “The Master’s Plan for Making Disciples” by Win and Charles Arn.)

1) THE LOVE OF CHRIST! If you are attending this morning and consider yourself non-religious, you can close your eyes and take a short nap right now, because nothing from the pulpit pertains to you. But if you are embraced in the love of Christ… and have focused upon the cross and seen God’s unconditional love sacrificially poured out for you… today’s message hold’s an compelling need to pay attention. For those children of God who have received the gift of salvation, and the countless blessings of forgiveness, healing, faith, eternal life, and inner peace …the challenging adventure placed before us in the past few weeks compels us to reflect this hour upon what it means to join Christ in His greatest priority – to make new disciples. Non-Christians can ignore this calling and stay focused solely upon their own needs. But the Christian who yearns to be sensitive to the beckoning of the Holy Spirit strives to hear and respond to the call to sacrificially place others ahead of ourselves. What “compels” us is the love of Christ!

2) WE WANT TO! Despite our anxieties, fears, doubts, and questions about “how” to share the faith, deep down inside the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, is calling you and I to take a huge step in our faith walk! And we want to… in the light of Christ’s love - we want to respond. As nervous as we may be initially, we want to reflect His love to others who do not know Him, and we’re secretly hoping that His Word today will help us faithfully serve Him. Admittedly, there’s a spiritual tension within us that non-Christians can ignore. It’s a tension that naturally occurs on a regular basis to disciples who are growing spiritually. A tension that experience tells us, God is capable of relieving as He teaches us trust Him, and love others! The Spirit declares that nothing is impossible with God! And if He proclaims that we are to be the means by which others come to know and love Him, then we want to respond faithfully! Not because we have to… but because we want to.

3) HOW! Today Christ shows us HOW to roll up our sleeves and join him in a broken world dispensing hope, faith, and love. Today’s “how” is based on last week’s scriptural demonstrations of how the early church grew rapidly through sharing Christ with their “Oikos” – that is, their households; the people in their “sphere of influence”, (meaning family, relatives, friends, and associates.) This week we are going to personalize the natural web of relationships by which the Gospel most effectively flows. HOW do we make disciples? There are 7 steps. Understanding them is one thing – but only acting upon them will lead to miracles, transformed hearts, and a joy and happiness that we have never experienced before!

4) EXTENDED FAMILY! First, we need to define something called our “Extended family”. No doubt, if you are a parent you feel an important sense of responsibility to your family. God has given you the duty to oversee their physical health, safety, personal growth, and spiritual development. But did you know that God has also given you an “Extended family” for whom you have a responsibility? They are YOUR “Oikos” – your close friends, relatives, and associates who DO NOT KNOW Jesus Christ! Your extended family is people you have a unique relationship with. And because they are non-Christians, you may be the only bridge God has to them. So let’s be clear; your Oikos is composed of all the people in your circle of influence – both Christians and non-Christians. Your “extended family” is the people in your Oikos who are NOT in Christ and His church. It may be Mary -the secretary at your office, Fred – your younger brother, Tom - who is getting a divorce, LaVonne – your next door neighbor, Bob – the guy you work out with at the gym, or Lucy – your cousin who lives 4 blocks away. God has said that you are responsible to these people to dispense God’s grace and love to, with the intentional purpose of helping them to know and love Christ.

5) IDENTIFY! So, Step One in “making disciples” is simple: 1) Identify your extended family. These are people to come into regular contact with in your day-to-day life. In your bulletin this morning there is a sheet for listing your extended family – including nearby kin, friends, and associates. Kin, of course, are non-Christians related to you biologically or through marriage. Close friends are people you identity with, trust, and share the ups and downs of life with! You look forward to spending time with them. The associates category are non-believers at work, or school, or in the community that you rub elbows with regularly. You’ll talk politely about any matters of mutual interest. Perhaps you attend the PTA together, or bowl together in a league, or belong to the same club or civic committee. But the first step to “making disciples” is to identify on a list those kin, friends, and associates that belong to your extended family who are NOT in Christ and the church.

6) I pray you will not toss this list into the recycle bin with your bulletin, but will spend time filling it out throughout the week, and place in your bible, or put it on the lamp stand near your bed, or use a magnet to place it on your refrigerator – because unless it is constantly seen and intentionally reviewed you cannot proceed with the next step: 2) Develop a profile of each member. You cannot build friendships without learning something about the other person. What are their hobbies or interests? Sure you may know their age, what they do for work, or who they are married to, but knowing a person on a level that goes beyond that is a part of effective disciple making.

When I worked at Boeing, my drafting table and computer were in an office with 30 other people. My boss, the secretaries, and fellow NC Programmers worked together and with the manufacturing shop every day. But it was not until after I got laid off with 60,000 others that it occurred to me I knew nothing personal about the majority of them. I had never intentionally asked about their backgrounds, their hobbies or interests, or how their family lives were going. I had not idea who had a faith, and what kind. I had no idea if they were happy in their job, or if any exciting events were happening in their lives. When I was called back three years later, I vowed to find out. During breaks and lunch, I discovered tons of information about the people there, and it brought us closer together, deeper friendships developed, and it lead to some really interesting discussions about faith. What about you? As you think about those you rub shoulders with daily – how much do you really know about them? Are they Christians? Are they democrats, interested in football, speak a foreign language? Where did they go to school? What major events in their life shaped their personality? The fact is, until you begin to care enough to really know the people in your extended family – disciple-making is not even an option. We are called by Christ to love those around us – and getting to know them in a more meaningful way is how we start!

Step 3) Focus your efforts. As you review the list of names in your extended family, you will want to identify a few whom you have a natural, warm relationship with to begin with. …people you get along with, people you enjoy doing things with. Who among the list are people who may enjoy being with your friends from church? Who may already be the most receptive to the gospel and may easily find a home here at ALSC? Focus on them! Obviously, the number of people you will focus on will differ according to the amount of time you can give to consciously sharing God’s love. A busy CEO may want to focus on just 1 or 2 to be effective, whereas a retired person may have the time to focus on six or more non-Christians in their Extended family! One only has to look at how a magnifying glass captures the diffused light and focuses it on one spot to see that there is power in focused energy. Likewise, don’t try to save everyone on your list in a week. Let the Holy Spirit help you focus your efforts.

Step 4) Develop a Disciple-making plan. When I first was introduced to this invitation to intentionally plan how to build friendships with non-Christians as a way of sharing God’s love – it seemed… kinda contrived at first. When I was asked if, when I was 16, I ever planned ways to bump into girls I was interested in so as to get to know them – I realized that planning to build relationships doesn’t have to be manipulative, just intentional. Planning to build anything that is Godly is scripturally correct. Proverbs 14:22 says “Do not those who plot evil go astray? But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.” There is nothing wrong with planning what is good, and nothing wrong with experiencing love and faithfulness. Proverbs 16:3 tells us “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” God apparently approves of planning. It leads to good things. Proverbs 21:5 agrees “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” Isaiah 32:8 confirms this; “But the noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands.” Planning to do good is not something unique to us humans, for Jeremiah 29:11 quotes God as saying “‘For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” What is wrong with planning to prosper people and give them a hope and future in Christ?

See, before we run off and start building a genuine relationship with the first person on our list, we need to consider the insights that might increase our effectiveness. We need to meet people where they are, not where we are! Paul told us, (1 Corinthians 9:22) “To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.” If you are not planning the best way to effectively communicate the gospel to this unique person, if you are not planning a way to make it relate to their lives and their needs – you will reduce the chance of their hearing it with eager hearts. Christ’s approach to introducing disciples to the Good News was highly individualistic. With farmers he used parables that included planting and harvesting. He asked the woman at the well for a drink of water, and talked of spiritual water. He discussed producing fruit for the kingdom with people who understood his examples of vineyards and olive trees. For each person you choose to intentionally focus on, you should have a plan that specifically catered to that individual.

Step 5) Work the Disciple-making plan. As you begin to get closer and build an increasingly deeper friendship with that person, be sensitive to and aware of the events in your extended family member’s life. There could be a right time and a wrong time, a right way and a wrong way to communicate God’s love.

First, let’s A) Listen attentively. Paul Tillich, (theologian), once said, “The first duty of love is to listen”. But just because we have two ears and only one mouth does not make listening our natural tendency. Listening must be learned and cultivated through practice. Listening is putting yourself in their shoes, and asking questions until you understand them and see things from their perspective. It’s not racing on ahead to discuss your agenda. If you think listening is being geared to turn the conversation to spiritual matters at the first opportunity – you couldn’t be more wrong. True grace and love longs to understand the non-Christian’s dreams and ambitions, discover their needs and problems, and understand them so as to build mutual respect and personal empathy. In every non-Christian’s life there is a “contact” point, a need, a hurt, a problem, a fear… that when discovered allows the listener to share the part of the Good news that speaks to that specific need. But only listening will build trust and friendship and help you find that contact point.

Along with that comes the need to B) Relate to their needs. It’s only through a close meaningful relationship that you can mutually share experiences – happiness, sadness, successes, failures, irritation, disappointment. Sharing needs is the natural context for demonstrating your Christian faith, relating your experience to theirs, and discussing the solution Christ has provided.

Next, we need to c) Identity receptive periods. It is during significant changes in lifestyle (like marriage, birth of a child, new job, retirement), OR incidents of stress, (death of a loved one, divorce, family crisis, injury, etc..) that God’s love and caring is significantly appropriate. When the things people has depended on, believed in, or trusted in – suddenly fail them, people are now in a more receptive frame of mind to explore different and new possibilities – like God! But when things are stable in an extended member’s life, they are generally not open to becoming a disciple. So we love people unconditionally, hopeful that some day when they “crash and burn”, (and we all suffer crisis’s and trauma), that they will turn to those who have supported them and explore alternative options – including spiritual options!

Statistics tells us that 2 out of every ten friends you have are experiencing major trauma or stress in their lives. If you have ever used the Holmes-Rauhe Social Readjustment Scale to measure the amount of stress you are under, you know that certain events stress you more than others. And when compound events happen, you can start to blow fuses! You have a meltdown. Why? Because the human things and people you have leaned on to keep you strong or safe, are shown for what they are – an illusion. As the numbers are added together on the scale, the higher they are, the more receptive a person can be to the Good news of the Gospel! Intentionally being aware of what is going on in your extended family, will help you to identify receptive moments.

It’s also important to D) Use Appropriate Timing. “When” you communicate God’s love can be as important as “what” you communicate. When your workout partner explains their difficulty with their daughter to you at the gym, it is an appropriate moment to relate how your faith guided you in a similar circumstance.

And above all, E) Use Understandable language! We Christians have a language all to our own, theological terms, biblical phrases that are foreign to the unchurched. Colossians 4:5-6 “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

The sixth step in making disciples is one of the most important! 6) Pray regularly for each member. That’s why I suggest this list stay near your bible or devotional material or in your spiritual prayer corner – you need to pray for them every day! Genuine caring is allowing God’s love to flow through you to people, especially those in your network of relationships. So it’s essential that you ask God regularly to let your extended family experience His love through you. Do you know that some people have never had anyone specifically pray for them? Take that honor! And bring them to your Christian family to pray for too! Why is it that our prayers of the church aren’t filled with the names of extended family who have yet to experience Christ’s love? There is power released through prayer – let us hold them up to God!

The final step is 7) Accept accountability to others and to God. You need to meet regularly with other Christians involved in the disciple-making process. You need to share experiences and learn from one another. It wouldn’t hurt to find a Christian friend in this church and covenant to call one another every week to check in and see how the disciple-making process is going, and to encourage one another. It’s not only good to compare notes and prayer for each others extended family, but to pray for one another. Without accountability, it’s easy to get distracted from living according to God’s will – and without intentionality - our extended family may miss out on an opportunity to hear about Christ’s love. A prayer partner helps us live a life-style that makes Christ smile!

Friends, the day the Holy Spirit began to work in your heart, a miracle occurred. As a growing relationship with Jesus Christ developed, so did the amount of blessings grow. Your life is filled with power, and purpose, and peace – even while the world around you is falling apart. Embraced in the arms of Christ, you are a child of God who will inherits an eternal and perfect kingdom. Because you earned or deserve it – No! Because your sins, weaknesses, and brokenness were washed away by the blood of Christ – spilt on the cross for you! You are the recipients of a divine love beyond the description of words. You grow in that love, depend on that love, and cherish that love. We gather here this morning to thank Him and praise Him for that love. But the people in your extended family haven’t a clue, and they walk alone in a noisy, confusing, and uncaring world. That is not Christ desire – is it yours?

Christ comes this morning with a plan to love and save the members of your extended family – and asks if you will join Him in loving them. What you do with this list will probably tell Him if you are ready to care as He cares for them. Christ is here to empower you to pray and focus on sharing His love with those you know and see regularly. Will you in your daily devotions ask Him to bless each of them and open your eyes to that right moment, that receptive moment? Will you trust that He will give you the right Words when that time comes? Christ longs to give true life, eternal life, and a life filled with love and peace to every one in your extended family. A non-Christian is off the hook – and can care only for themselves. But those whom God has baptized in the waters of divine love and peace, are called to let Him use us, our lives, our love and compassion to touch those who haven’t a clue as to what a relationship with Christ can bring them! Just as you are a miracle because someone once shared His love with you, it is His desire that you offer yourself this morning as His hands, feet, and voice to reach out to your extended family that they may experience this miracle of love and peace too! PRAISE GOD! AMEN!

Sermon/Confessional Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, we confess our concern for the salvation of others has not been where it should. We have listened to Satan’s lies and convinced ourselves that your call to share the gospel belongs to others more capable than us. We have tried to convince ourselves that it is enough just to care for our own immediate families. Forgive us and help us to rediscover our Oikos families. Teach us to be aware and responsive to all of the spiritual needs of our friends, relatives, and associates.

Lord, you have brought us hope, inner peace, forgiveness, faith, new life, and love… and yet we have kept you a secret from those around us – afraid of rejection. We have forgotten that if we develop genuine friendships, trust develops and the door opens for spiritual conversations. Forgive us, and show us this week someone we see regularly that we know, but now should reach out to as a friend. And when the time is right, use us to share your love with them in ways that bring them to know and love you.

And now Lord, although you know us better than we know ourselves, listen as we share in a moment of silence, those other parts of our lives that need to be forgiven, washed clean, healed, and recommitted to you! (made anew.)

(Silence)

Lord, you have shown us clearly that being a mature and faithful disciple means making new disciples. You have shown us the gentle and natural way to share the good news of your love through our Oikos web of relationships. So ease our fears, help us to trust in you, and empower us to make witnessing a part of our Christian life-style. In Jesus Name We Pray. AMEN

Assurance of Forgiveness:

Friends, listen to the good news: The Lord, who touched and changed your heart through family, relatives and friends, …that Lord has mercifully heard your confession and eagerly forgives you all your sins. Go now, and remember: you know the people God longs to embrace. Love them unconditionally, be friends intentionally, genuinely care, develop trust, and when the time is right, invite them to meet to Jesus. Praise God! AMEN

Opening prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, we stand before you this morning, embraced in your love, expecting forgiveness and blessings, and praising your name simply because earlier in our life someone who knew us, who cared for us, who loved us – introduced us to you. We bath in the spiritual waters that wash away our sins, because some one showed us the source. We bring our emotional, spiritual, and physical wounds to be healed this day, because someone once introduced us to the divine physician. We bring our problems, broken relationships, fears, and questions to you this morning assured that you have the answers and solutions, because someone was bold enough to name the name of Jesus when we needed you most. This special hour, this special day, this special life we are blessed to have – you made possible. Though brokenness and challenges find us, we fear not because your power is stronger, your wisdom is greater, your love knows no bounds and overcomes all sin and trouble. Help us not just to receive and be embraced by your Holiness, but empower us to boldly pass it on this week to those who have forgotten or do not know you. In Jesus Name we pray! And in Jesus Name we proclaim the good news of your love! AMEN!

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